Hangover Games: Saw – The Video Game

July 11th, 2010 -

God help you if you didn’t know this one was coming to this segment. Welcome to Hangover Games from Fist Full of Potions. In this segment we will tell you about games so bad, so awful, so gut-wrenchingly terrible that we woke up with a bad taste in our mouths the morning after playing them. So hit the jump to find out more.

Since I’m more of a bullet point writer, that’s how my Hangover Games posts will be formatted for now. Just a heads up – it may change.

What’s Right With This Game
Well now that you ask… nothing. This game is so god awful that I regret looking at it. Going into this game I thought “Oh cool, they’re making a video game to expand the canon universe of Saw, neat…” but what I got was:

Moving on….

What’s Wrong With This Game:
Fucking everything is wrong with this game.

Traps Are Unoriginal:
They take so much from the movies, that none of them feel original anymore. The game has a habit of recycling them to fill in for game play. Like walking through a door rigged with a shotgun to blow your head off, or walking through a door rigged with a shotgun to blow your head off. See what I mean?

Scary Atmosphere Is Not Scary:
Now the Saw movies have never been a horror franchise; more like a shock and awe thing for me, but this game tries so hard to make you feel scared while walking around the “abandoned” hospital. It fails to impress or excite my fear. *sigh*

Combat Feels Like Old Man Syndrome:
Combat is terrible as well. It’s great when the game gives the objective to kill a guy, but doesn’t have the animated skill required to do so. Apparently the main character is made out of metal, because he swings so slow and heavy that an enemy gets four blows in before you get one.

Danny Glover Would Have Made The Game Slightly The Same:
Speaking of the main character… it is the cop from the first film in the series, yet Danny Glover didn’t play him in the game. They didn’t even seem to bother asking for him to reprise his role. They also don’t use his likeness at all. Instead, we get some young sounding, slightly beefed up looking guy playing his part.

Hello Saw Story, I Don’t Like You Making Sense:
So the story of the game is set between Saw and Saw II, but they’re are several things in the game that break the flow of canon. Like Amanda being in this “game” or the absence of a key character of later movies. All in all, I didn’t beat the game. I got about halfway through, but even that is enough to see most of the flaws with this game.

I Feel Dirty For Loving It:
So even though I regret getting this game, there’s this small part of me that loves it. It is a piece of shit, but it’s also Saw. Writing this has actually peaked my interests in finishing the game. If only to keep telling you to avoid it like the plague. Seriously, don’t touch it, don’t look at it, just walk away. I know you want cheap achievements, but just… don’t. Stay tuned to the site for my full review later this summer… yeah… I’m pathetic, I know.

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